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Latest from the Blog

Miss Big Booty Deschutee

I recently had a vision. I wanted to create a charitable event. And I wanted to look at some butts. And somehow, somehow, I wanted to combine the two. Through sheer force of mind, I brain-shat the idea of a floating butt parade that would simultaneously raise money for the river on which the event…

The Booger

I’ve done everything perfectly. Literally, absolutely, everything. The boy has just been fed a well-rounded and nutritional meal of fruits, vegetables, top-shelf breast milk (thank you, wife!), and eggs. He ought to be satiated for awhile. Merely minutes ago, his poop made a jailbreak out the rear passage of his diaper, requiring a full-body wipe…

A Letter To The Jabroni Doing Yoga In The Public Sauna

Dear Bikram Acolyte, C’mon man. What is your objective here? There are 13 of us packed into this sweaty bitch, and you are making twelve-thirteenths of the group feel weird and annoyed. Let me also remind you, in case through your yogic meditative practice you have transported your consciousness to a higher plane of existence…

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