This is going to be a bit strange..
Unlike the typical content circulated here, today’s post will be a semi-thoughtful, borderline mature, and possibly self-reflective blog post. Not the norm. Is something wrong with me? No, it’s just Christmas, and now’s the time of year to do this kinda shit, so let’s get it over with.
Recently, I read that one of the best ways to cheer yourself up is to think about the good qualities of the people close to you. So, I’m going to make a personal list of qualities or tidbits I appreciate about some people..
But first, let me state that no one should get too sentimental about this exercise. Other than the fact it’s Christmas time, I’m doing this with the sole aim of pleasing myself, nothing else. Also, a disclaimer- I quickly became exhausted with this exercise, so quite a few of my selected qualities aren’t long, creative, or original.
Anyways, here’s my list (and in no way does order imply preference):
Andrew-Fearless in social situations, unequivocally yourself. Powerful voice too.
Chris-Talented lil bitch. Driven and determined too. I recognize how much your talents across many disciplines are the the result of your persistent efforts.
Dave-Generous. Curious. Excellent at diving into a new interest, learning quickly, and applying the new knowledge.
Jeff- So organized. Generous. Always level-headed. Very good at saying no. Even to me, which is annoying.
JB-Still have never seen you be actually mean. It pisses me off.
Sam Rozran-You are the main Jew in my life. Required to have one on my Christmas list.
Scott Quigley-Always stoned, but never high. Chill dude. Committed and focused. Not quite a minimalist, but a fan of simple. A simplist, maybe.
Bryce- The dude least likely to surprise me because I know to expect anything. A creative juggernaut.
Ryan- Kind. The most agreeable person, to the point where it’s fun to play games with you and agree with two totally incompatible concepts. You definitely have short-man syndrome, but in the best way.
Swanson- Charging hard and making the most out of life. Always a positive disposition.
Nate- I appreciate your efforts to stay in touch and stay close despite being far away.
Jeff Gay-Appreciate how you tolerated decades of immature harrassment over your last name in good spirit. Genuine goofball.
Mom-Somehow you managed to incubate and grow a perfect human, so thank you. All kidding aside, now that I’m a parent, I better appreciate how awesome of a mom you are. Always giving with no expectation of anything in return.
Dad- Learned a lot from you. I appreciate your encouragement to continue learning and growing, usually in the form of a book as a gift.
Sarah- Patient. Handles tough situations with grace.
Matt- Uniquely yourself, and rarely embarrassed for it, even when I am for you.
Emma- You are generous, kind, and thoughtful, sometimes.
Shaina- Simply put, you carry the house. We’d all be screwed without you. Thanks for always putting the three of us first. You give a lot. I am always impressed by your professional and personal badassery. I love you.
Stanley-You are genuinely funny. Thanks for bringing more joy and laughter to my life, in between the occasional moments of anger. I haven’t known too many 2.5 year-olds, but you’re the cutest and cleverest in my book.
Sophie- You are quick to forgive, or maybe at your age, it’s simply forgetting. Regardless, you give me a million second chances to be a good dad. Thank you. Your smile is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
Anonymous Yolo69420.blog Reader- I don’t know who you are, or how many of you there are. I don’t know how you found this blog, because it’s apparent I’m no marketing whiz. You have supreme judgment, impeccable taste, and very likely a plethora of lucrative opportunities kneeling before you, all vying to metaphorically drain your nutz in order to eat that tasty and hearty splooge, which in this case, is a metaphor for your awesome talent the whole world desires. If there are any female readers of this blog, I’m surprised, and I also apologize.
Jimbo-I appreciate your awkward and hilarious honesty/lack of filter.
Brix- The ultimate host and epicurean.
Lucy-You tell overly dramatic stories that have provided a large percentage of my favorite quotes.
Grandma- You’re old and crazy, and you make me laugh because you’re old and crazy. Thanks for not spending all of my inheritance yet, I think.
Kris and Lea- I like that I can watch a 20-minute unintentionally sexually-provocative Indian face massage video with y’all, and it’s totally hilarious and not weird.
Tosch- Never aggressive or egotistical. Thanks for lead-climbing the two times a year I want to climb, but because I suck, I want someone with more talent and skill to do the hard work.
That’s my list. It was too long. Quite frankly, I should’ve stopped after I wrote the first five. The happiness return on my efforts became severely diminished, and I had to think quite hard to come up with positive attributes for some of you people.
Now, if you didn’t make the list, I’d think about your life decisions that led you to where you are today, not making this fucking list, and wonder ‘How have I strayed so far from the righteous path?’ Then get your shit together and make the necessary life changes to make my coveted and, as of now I’m declaring, annual gratitude list. It is a you problem, but you can be redeemed.
In all honesty, there are a bunch people I love and care for who aren’t on the list, because a) it would take too much time, b) it would be awkward, because I annoy you, but I like you anyways, or c) you’ve been indirectly acknowledged because your bitty boo made the list, and I’m not putting both of you on there because that’s too much love to throw in one direction.
Enough gratitude, moving on. In theme with the holidays, I wrote and recorded a Christmas song. It’s titled, I Hate/Love Christmas. If I may, let me disparage myself for a moment. I am a musician of very limited talent. I have been abandoned by my band and therefore am forced to try and write and record music all by my lonesome self. It shows. Some extra talent would go a long way. Nonetheless, I enjoy it, so I do it anyways. The vocals are shit, so I just let it get weird at the end. Sure wish I could sing better, but hey, my pipes are what they are. Can I hit all the notes? Hell no, but I still try. Sure wish I could play a lot of instruments a lot better, but at least MIDI keyboards exist. Sure wish I had some more technical aptitude for mixing/mastering/producing music. I also think I have this fantasy that a truly great production job would make my music notably better, but it probably wouldn’t. Anyways, the song is a piano-driven, slower-paced Christmas ballad with a bit of irreverence and a plug for good dental hygiene. Hope it makes your ears bleed.
Merry Christmas, bitches.
Yolo 69 420 