Not you of course, reader. You indeed are my friend. If you can stomach this blog and come back for more, I have nothing but love for you.
But there are probably some other bitches out there who ain’t my friends. So I wrote a song for them. It’s called “I Ain’t Your Friend.” Go figure.
Realistically, I hold no meaningful or legitimate animosity towards anyone, so I had to channel the 16-year old girl within me to write this banger. Being nearly 35, I pride myself on not having catty beefs in my life. But if I did, this jam would be my anthem.
While listening, you might even think, “Wow he really tried to embody being a 16 year old girl. He even sounds like one.” Hey bitch, that’s just my voice, and I can’t do anything about it.
Also, notice the dope artwork created for the track. Understand that ChatGPT gave my cheap-ass a three image generation limit on my free account. I thought this result was appropriately corny and juvenile for the song, so I went with it.
3/5/25 Edit: I remastered the track a bit to balance some of the vocals and in particular, tone down my high-pitched, whiny vocal tracks. The newer version is marginally better and slightly easier on the ears. The remastered version is the one with the taco boxing the hamburger, because clearly, tacos and hamburgers are not friends.
Yolo 69 420 