Feeling like a loser

baby, so why don’t you kill me? Because I know karate, bitch! Neck chop!


Such is the cycle of life, you have your ups, you have your downs. And this is a truth felt on multiple levels: in your sense of worldly standing, your physical health and well-being, as well as your mental constitution. Sometimes the state of one or two of these measures  can influence the other one or two, for better or for worse. Sometimes, for whatever reason, one of these +/- barometers is reading strangely, whether for valid or invalid reasons. But whether or not one’s perspective is based in reality per se, one’s perspective is one’s reality, and there ain’t anythang more real than that.

Sometimes, you just feel like a worthless ass. That despite years of education and training, you remain quite inept. After years of living and countless opportunities for growth and personal development, you feel a) not really good at anything b) uninspired and c) not super-well-developed in terms of being a well-rounded, responsible, productive, or wise individual. And despite efforts to be better, you still commonly make pretty avoidable and silly blunders. What’s that about, man? 

Sometimes though, you feel optimistic. About yourself, your abilities, your future prospects. You can sense the universe is pregnant with possibility for you to seize and make reality….. But sometimes, you feel too helpless to accomplish really anything other than making an inappropriately large stack of pancakes, bathing them in a glorious golden shower of maple syrup, and shoveling them down your throat to bury the swelling pile of self-pity rising up from within… And sometimes, you even burn the pancakes. You had one fucking job. Just one simple task! All you had to do is add water for Christ’s sake! You don’t even have to crack an egg! Medium heat, 90 seconds each side, is that too much math for your college-educated brain?? What a fuck. Still delicious tho…

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